Heights of embarassment

as 15th April ,2007,Sunday (a holiday)।Sunday.........a day to revive ones spirits, reignite ur passion for work and get ready for next 5 day's war that u have to undergo in ur respective software companies(may be by doing hell lot of a work or may be doing nothing of benefit to the company apart from utilising the resources of ur company to do all the mundane tasks u can possibly do).
I actually belong to the latter category.
But to do nothing profitable for the company day after day,week after week etc etc etc (the list goes on n on n on) ...u need skill.
Skill requires heavy knowledge which in turn requires passion to acquire that knowledge...but having passion is not enough too......u need a large amount of free time too...N thats wat makes a person devoid of any work skilful(if u can understand me).

Coming back to the the main topic in hand , 15 April ,Sunday just another day .....for a lot of ppl for refuelling their energies..........eehhhhbut not for the gr8 myself....coz as it turned out later ...this sunday was gonna be one of my most embaraasing and comical sunday.

The day started as usual at around 11 am early in the morning ...did my brkfast by 2 o' clock ,that too on usual time(discipline is the key) therein grabbed a magazine and started scribbling thru its pages ( gosh it was about software companies too and most importantly mine was listed nowhere ).

"These magas dont know anything about IT ...how can they leave my company " I said to myself when suddenly the melodious tune of my nokia n series N -70 music edition mobile phone started playing on the tune of airtel.Before i delved too much into the melody I picked up the call.
"Hi buddy this is abhinav ..coming to ur place nwaiting n ear sec 12-22 chowk(a famous milestone of my current abode Noida..) .
Ahh thedevil arrives.
I went to accompany him bk to my home n it took 20 min rather than the usual 3 min.The reason f this lateness was that gr8 frend of mine was actually1 km away from 12-22 chowk where I waited for him in scorching heat n he was standing under the cool breeze n shade of some tree exactly 1 km away, giving me instructions of his whereabout on my n series cell(Even the calls were made by me ... costly airtel).

AAAArrrrrgggggggghhhhh

"saala pagla gaya hai" i murmured to myself till finally i caught him.Anyways back home i felt like taking a bath ( which i hadnt till that time) but delayed this auspicious task late till evening.

"Yaar beer pini hai" were the holy words that started my journey of embarassment and comedy that evening.
Although i have half quitted my drinking habit almost,but the temptation still attracts me smtimes..afterall m a human being...
So it was decided that we'll get a bottle (or two) of beer from d market n then drink in the comfort of my home.I took a bath (finally) ,wore a green t-shirt and abrown cargo and somehow decided to wear my black slippers rather than wearing my 2500 bugs woodland shoes.The slippers were quite gud luking but still........they were slippers.

I said "somehow" coz i always wear shoes wen outside but u know ...this was gonna be a different day.Our journey started immediately but our plan changed midway n we decided to visit a bar .
"CHICANE " was the name of this बार(nice name) in Spice world mall which i had never tried bf4।So i told myself yeah today is the day n of we went towards Chicane..

Expecting a warm reception from the guard standing their i moved confidently towards the entrance wen suddenly tragedy struck ............
"U are not allowed to go inside the bar" said the guard eyes into eyes
" Wattt"..........................
wat..........................
My mind started racing do we look too young to drink nah.........
do we luk too poor nah....
So where's the problem..

"Sir we dont allow people wid slippers inside our bar".
That that "sir" gave me a respoectful feeling was taken away by the fact that i was wearing slippers.Damn the day i bought them.
My wonderful friend was laughing at me "he he he tu chappal pehen ke aaya heheeh" damn him too...
I thought 51 ways to get out of the situation इन an embarassing position ...but none seem to fit..
So i decided togive a fight...

HUH main haar nahi manuga.
"I have got a lot of bugs dear ..let me in"
"Nah"
"i have shoes in my home"
"nah"
"call ur manager"
"nah....i mean yah "
I was feeling like a human activist fighting for my fundamental rites tasting zero success.The show must go on.
"yes sir how may i help u"-said the manager
"i wanna jst enter ur bar"
"yes sir u may surely...no sir u may not u r wearing slippers.."
wah bete... ek pal mein sabkuch dekar doosre pal mein cheen liya
"but these slippers are ....nice... n ....gud... n black "
"no sir"
"u may chk them they r clean"I even lifted my leg to enable him to a wholesome view of the bottom of my slippers.
"no sir"
"u r loosing ur potiential customer sir"(sounding like an mba student)
"no prb sir" as if saying tere paiso se meri dukaan thodi na chalti hai
"please " a last resort "will take care the next time ,infact my home is nearbny so i'll not make this big mistake again"
"no sir"
"say yes sir" angrily i said.
"no sir".
Thats it my dreams got shattered of drinking in Chicane as it had been wen India bowed out of the world cup.But the pain was deep inside this time.
I m an earning man ..a software professional..n i m disallowed to enter a meagre bar...damn.The world was laughing at me ......u loser....(although no one apart from my fren was there).

"Dost ,dont loose heart lets try another bar"
I dont no if that was sarcastic , full of sympathy or jst another shot to make me embaraas and have loads of fun ...but i accepted my friends proposal n off we went to the best bar of Noida...

"Geofrrey's".It doesnt matter if i get embaraas again but if i won atleast the pride of my black slippers wud be restored to sm extent.
(I felt better thinkin that n went ahead)We made a plan n decided that i wud move behind my friend n try to sneek inside the bar till smone can see my slippers .
A serious lukin girl was guarding the entrance n looked very serious by her looks (as if waitng for me and thinking come u slipper boy i'll catch u)
I was feeling nervous n hid behind my friend who was completin the formalities ...i thot i wud sneek inside n felt better wen suddenly the manager came out.
now wat......... i hv to escape the hawk eyes of two persons ( makes it a total of 4 eyes)as if the police was lukin for runaway terrorists ...
I tuk a deep breadth.... closed my eyes n decided to make a dash...........(thoughts coming to my mind ahh another embarassment in store,another verbal dispute chapter aarrghhh)But here the destiny struck in my favor (which the Indian cricket team has been devoid of ages)...

the lights went off....n all f a sudden it became completely dark or dark enough not to notice ur slippers n i ran inside like a kid runs to grab a toffee from his father's hands.N caught the first seat available..
Wat gr8 timing it was ...the lights came on............wid me comfortably seated escaping d spies.
"sir u may please come here coz this is a better seat" came out the melodious voice of tht serious lukin gal..
"aahhhh m fine here thanku" clutching the chairs firmly wid my hands n preventing the view of my slippers n saying n my mind please leave me alone....
"order please" as if to close the chapter
Had some drinks beer n a cigarette but my mind was still on the day (eventful pretty much)..........my friend was drinking n smoking n njying all the moments n even laughing at me...bad friends.........
I thought its over now so njy but little remained...bf4 the day was finally over.I paid the cheque (my friend said he was from TCS n they dont pay him much so u pay)...as if adding salt to insult.......AHHHHh Bad friend .....
.n as we moved outside with the task finished firmly the same gal was standing outside ....she looked into my eyes wid a serious look on her visage(as if i know all the time u were wearing slippers ...i'll get u)then looked downwards ,stared their for a moment ..but bf4 she cud shower her anger upon me ...i ran n ran n ran..............

Moral of the story.....never wear slippers only shoes.......

Wat a day...
the end.
Characters- Anupam Ajmani, Abhinav ,Guards of the bars, managers ...........

PS-I think i shud kill my friend wid his sarcastic tones...wat say...

Indian cricket at its best

Well after the world cup debacle where our Indian team did really well to play in the FIRST round of the cup and also snatched a win from Bermuda.

Lately their have been a lot of talks, controversies regarding the fate of Indian cricket effectively propagated by adrenaline fueled media and I must say that most of these discussions have been very illogical. So here’s an article which I have tried to write in a very unbiased approach regarding our cricketing issues.


Firstly the coach: Lately Greg Chapell has been made the scapegoat for our team’s dismal performances. Wee all know that Greg Chappell is one of the greatest cricketers of his generation.

So that signifies actually that he knows wht cricket is all about. The job of a coach is to better the techniques of the players and help them out, develop strategies and game plans and instill confidence among the players.

The executioners are the players who actually take the field. So blaming Chappell for the cup loss is not the way to go about when he has actually nothing to do in the field.

Secondly previous cricketers who say that a foriegn coach is not required for our country(stating reasons that he doesn’t understand our culture and stuff)are just trying to raise their own worth when actually they r not asked for. The fact remains that almost none of the x-players of India have been sought after by other teams.

Can anyone tell me the reason???

So this is a no issue. The person who is better suited to do the job must be hired (whether Indian or an Aussie or whoever)

Now comes the captain thing :Well it is a fact and has again proved that Dravid is a very defensive captain n lacks the killer instinct to win matches for India. So the question is shud he be sacked as captain. I feel that we don’t have any other option to replace him as captain and carry on the job.Sourav by far has been the best captain India has seen,but the way he's playing in the WC infact he grindedmade it visible that he'll not last long enough.(His recent gud form doesnt actaully indicate his shoddy display of batting done by him).

So let Dravid be the captain ...Groom a young, aggressive and consistent player to lead the side in may be next 2 years.

Now it’s the players who got selected:

1. Rahul Dravid – One of the best batters of our team. Failing lately but still a must for the team.

2. Sourav Ganguly: Past his prime, Grinding for runs…can still be a part of the team but
if does well.

3. Virender Sehwag:Given the maximum no. of opuurtunies more than even Zimbabwe can give. Must be sacked.(I hope his century against Bermuda is not considered)

4. Sachin Tendulkar:Wonderful batsman but is not doing much for the gud of the team.

Must be dropped and asked to prove himself in domestic circuit. Is still very young n still possesses the potential but needs to do well against top teams(their’s lies the difference b/w Sachin and Lara n here’s where Lara scores)

5. Dhoni: Common he’s a gud prospect.One failure doesn’t reduce his abilities..Must be retained.

6. Yuvraj Singh: Consistently inconsistent needs to be more responsible.Must be retained.

7. Dinesh Karthik: Must be retained.

8. Robin Uthappa: Pressure of the world cup took its toll on him, must be retained though…coz a very exciting prospect….

9. Irfan Pathan: India’s leading fast bowler for some time can now bowl upto speeds of 120 kph ..thts awesome man…….ahh common must be dropped and asked to work upon himself in all departments.

10.Zaheer Khan: Should be retained as bowling well

11.Sreesanth:Retained.

12.Munaf Patel: He hardly entered the team and started concentrating on line and length rather than working some pace upfront.Bowled without a single variation against Srilanka consistently at 125 kph (speed at which Kumble bowls).Must work upon pace and variation else dropped.

13.Ajit Agarkar:I have been a die hard fan of Agarkar coz of his abilities to perform as inconsistent as he can irrespective of the situations. The fastest bowler in our ranks,isstill not learning from past mistakes .Needs to be dropped.

Now our wonderful matchwinning duo of spinners.

14.Kumble:I don’t know how can he be a gr8 player wid an av of 31 to show. He should have retired 4 years ago but without deserving one got a chance to play in the cup all due to Vengsarkar and what happened?He retired now but without any grace whereas he could have retired long ago wid a lot of respect.Even Shane Warne retired before ,although he was bowling far better than anyone else.Its better that Kumble retired by himself rather than blocking the way for some better player.

15. Harbhajan Singh: is one of the most average spinner of his time and still has been retained day in and day out in the team without any valid reason or talent or anything.Altough did well in the cup claimin 0 wickets,still should be immediately sacked.Powar who was bowling very well was devoid of a place due to our awesome spin duo who r actually pacers(they bowl widout spin …funny )

PS-Wid due respect I must say that these players are gr8 but past record cannot always be a criteria to remain in the team always.Some may say that “form is temporary but class is permanent”,but at some point form becomes important.


The selectors:

Dlip Vengarskar ,one of the gr8s …,couldnt have done better by taking our cricket as back as he did.he drafted Kumble instead of Powar …thus gifting him another cup appearance.Kiran More did well to bring in a lot of youngsters but Dilip reversed the process.

Missed out were deserving players like RP Singh,Powar,and Gambhir.

Playing Pathan n Sehwag was another big mistake n revealed the way how our cricket is run.


Indian Media:

Our media is a major culprit who is effectively using the emotional content of this cricket crazy country to a large extent thus instigating disgust and wrath among the people.(Who have loads of time to do so)

Imagine a news channel portraying cricketers as criminals wid dialogues like “kasoorwaar kaun “ and others thus playing hard wid the emotions of people. They disregard the fact that cricketers are not doing any crime and are humans too.

Talking about print media...” the Times of India had these views about some specific happenings.

When Kumble was brought in the team it said that it’s a gr8 decision ,he is our no. 1 spinner (form not taken into consideration).

During thecup:Bringing Kumble in the team instead of Powar will hurt our chances.

When India was knocked out of the cup:India paid heavily for not including Kumble in the matches during the cup and will regret it always…

Actually this proves that our media thrives on creating controversies and follows double standards.

Finally our fans :I must say that Indian fans are very irrational and are involved in too much of emotions …Dear fans think logically not emotionally if u want our team to do well. Burning effigies and breaking houses will do much harm rather than gud to our game.Even the cricketers are human beings .Let them live normally.Dont make them gods wen they do well n neither run after their lives if they fare badly…And a message to our politicians ( like Lalu Prasad Yadav) especially …please do ur politics well(which u aren’t actually) and don’t interfere in sports matter…Infact I also find no reason why a politician is heading the BCCI…

There are a lot of issues regarding our system but I feel I have summarized various major issues here…njy


Cya

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